The Layman's Answers to Everything

The meaning of life according to some guy who likes TV and stuff.

As soon as I learned of the title of Lost’s Season 6 premiere episode last year, I immediately began to wonder about its implications. Sure, the LA X was a reference to LAX, the abbreviation for Los Angeles International Airport where Oceanic Flight 815 was suppose to land, but why was there a space between the “LA” and the “X”? Like everything on Lost, surely this play on letters was for a reason.

They say that when it rains, it pours. Why is that? Why do bad things come in threes? Why do things go from bad to worse? Why does the universe always seem to kick us when we’re down? This time of year, when the days are short and cold, it can be easy to find yourself in a dark place. And that’s when the powers that be decide that it would be a perfectly good time for several of the following to happen all at once: Getting sick. Getting hurt. Getting into a fight. Getting into an accident. Losing your job, your life savings, your dreams, and finally, your mind. Why must everything hit us all at once? Is there any reason for it, and more importantly, is there any way to avoid it?

At the end of my last column, I asked whether the “variable” would prove to be an event that could change everything. The one thing that could have a domino effect on the outcomes of every event that followed. I wondered if this changeable event is what Ben and Widmore have been fighting for control of. After watching “The Variable,” I have to say “yes,” this is what the term is referring to. However, I’m still not so sure whether the variable will actually vary anything according to the mythology of the show.

The concept of taking a leap of faith has been covered many times on Lost. Locke had told Jack that he was taking a leap of faith by pressing the button; Hurley took a leap of faith by risking his life with Charlie to get the DHARMA van started as it sped down a hill; and in the episode titled, “316,” the theme shows up throughout. In fact, the title itself should’ve been the first tip-off.

Continuing in the same vein as Part 1, Parts 2&3 was mostly action/adventure and little mythology. And what little there was still seems to support my theory.

For starters, at the end of the last episode’s update, I wrote:

In “Something Nice Back Home” Hurley even suggests that none of them made it off the island, and they were, perhaps dead. Not dead, just stuck in limbo between worlds. I feel like the season will end with the five of them not being rescued as we think, but getting hurt, and this whole flash-forward has all been in their minds.

The first thing that stuck me as interesting in this episode was Michael, a.k.a., Kevin Johnson, responding to Sayid’s question about what he was doing there by saying that he was there to die. After watching the full episode, we may assume that he was referring to his repeated attempts at suicide, but if “The Myth of Lost” simulation theory is correct, Michael may be talking about something else—his desire to die and get out of the simulation already.

Oh, the tangled web Lost weaves. The episode begins with an underwater search craft stumbling upon the remains of Oceanic Flight 815. Once again, it would seem that the gangs’ flight did really crash after all. But not so fast. Interestingly, the parts of the plane that are being shown underwater—the nose for example—had already been seen on the island. So how can it be in two places at once? Unless, as one of the sub-theories of The Myth of Lost theory suggests, this is the real-life version of the plane that exists in the simulation. Another possibility is that this is a dummy plane with dummy corpses or substitute bodies meant to decoy whatever really happened to flight 815. In other words, Oceanic may have staged this wreckage.

The Layman’s Answers To Everything is a spiritual comedy—or spiromedy—about an unlucky guy who can’t catch a break until he discovers that there are secret messages hidden in TV, movies, and music aimed at guiding humanity. With the help of a bizarre cast of characters, his own gut instinct, and a bunch of cheesy 70s songs on the radio, he uses these messages to start a new religion which changes the world. Overall, the story is a vehicle for my theories that teaches how to discover your destiny using the clues of the universe.