Diary of a Layman #3 (Summer 2006): Technical Difficulties



Hello, and welcome to The Layman’s Answers To Everything Update #3. If you have no idea what that means or why I’m writing to you, please scroll below.

This summer was…how should I put this…riddled with technical difficulties. All minor thankfully, but enough to cost me 7 weeks of editing time. The major culprit was that the 9-year-old computer (that’s 108 in human years) that I’d commandeered from my brother to write the book, lost its internet abilities rendering it virtually useless. Trying to get it fixed, finding out it wasn’t worth it, buying a new one and getting it up to speed is where most of the lost 7 weeks went. Interestingly, my DVD recorder’s recording abilities as well as its TV Guide-like Guide Plus system also decided to die during this time along with my ol’ VCR. Admittedly, a two-week freelance gig down in the Village and my decision to begin obsessively watching two seasons worth of Lost in just over a month were also to blame. Suffice to say, the powers that be did NOT want me working on the book these last seven weeks for whatever reason. Perhaps the stars just weren’t aligned properly. Hmmm, speaking of which let’s see what they had to say:

(from http://celestialweather.com/ftp/091806.html)
The Week beginning September 18th, 2006
The Earth, Sun, and Moon align in this Friday’s solar eclipse on the very last degree of Virgo. That in itself suggests an intense effort to bring matters to completion (for example, getting back to editing a book that’s now 7 weeks behind schedule). The symbolism associated with this last degree of Virgo is that of a man “totally intent upon completing an immediate task is deaf to any allurement.”  And that task is “the conquest of illusion.”  And we have plenty of illusion to conquer. (Tell me about it.)

Jupiter is moving to perfect his historic square with Neptune on Sunday. Both planets inform our religious and spiritual life. People find themselves with conflicts of commitments and goals. This has been in effect off and on for months; (you don’t say?) this is their last square. (Hallelujah!!)

A task has been set before us for this fall season.  We’ve been struggling with Jupiter/Neptune and Saturn/Neptune illusions and confusions for many months.  The fall equinox occurring later on the same day spreads Jupiter/Neptune and the eclipse’s intensity over the coming months. (Oh, great.) We can use the obsessive focus (obsessive?) of the Eclipse and its “conquest of illusion” to bring clarity and conclusions into our lives. And when Jupiter leaves Scorpio and enters his home sign, Sagittarius, in late November some fire and light will return to us. (Finally!)

Let me break this down for y’all. This Friday, not only is there a new moon, new sign (Libra) and a solar eclipse, it also happens to be the fall equinox. And, for all you Jews out there, does this Friday ring any other bells? So, what does this all mean? It pretty much means that I hope everyone has a really great weekend, because however this weekend goes, the next three months—nay—the next year, will likely follow suit. To all my gentile friends, you may want to chow down on some apples and honey this weekend just to be safe.

Okay, back to Layman and its challenges of late thanks to this little Jupiter-Neptune “historic square”  (Also occurring this weekend.) Despite these challenges, I still managed to self-edit half of book 1 (I’m only editing book 1 before I plan on taking it to a professional editor.) To get the rest of the book done, I will now be like “a man totally intent upon completing an immediate task.”  The book will see to that—I’m sure of it.

For those I’ve never told, I’m fairly certain the book is…how do I say this without sounding crazy…hmmm, there is no way. Okay then—the book is alive. Alive as in Frankenstein. Alive as in Steven King’s Christine. Alive as in Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu. And it really, really wants to be born. Here’s only the most recent example as to why I’ve come to this conclusion.

Last Thursday, I finally got around to getting the book lined up properly (fonts, pages, formats, etc) on my new computer for the first time. At last, the book was ready to go. I was done around 11pm, was tired so decided to put the computer into sleep mode as I usually do and call it a day. It was about 30 minutes later when I finally crawled into bed. After about 10 minutes, I was just dozing off, when I heard a noise that sounded like my computer’s speaker coming on. I turned around to look at my computer in the darkness, and to my shock and awe, saw that it’s blue screen had popped on by itself—mysteriously…eerily. Beckoning me. As if to say—11:30pm you lazy shit? You used to work on me until 1-1:30am easy! Get your ass out of bed—NOW! It hadn’t popped on before or since, but man, was that freaky.

Well, I hope to have a more productive update for you next time. Until then, please enjoy the enclosed MP3 which is part 1 of a 2-part Polyphonic Spree song titled “Have A Day/It’s the Sun” which I often listen to for inspiration. (I’ll send part 2 another time.) Hopefully, it’ll inspire you too. And put you in a happy mood. You’ll need it for this weekend.
2-02 Have a Day (KCRW Morning Becomes Eclectic Version)

May your inner spark grow to light your way,



If you aren’t familiar with the story, here’s a brief synopsis:

The Layman’s Answers To Everything is a spiritual comedy (or spiromedy) about an unlucky guy who’s searching for what he’s meant to do with his life. After experiencing many challenges and meeting a bizarre cast of characters, he stumbles upon secret messages hidden in TV, movies, and music that are aimed at guiding humanity. Using these messages, he starts a new religion which changes his life, and ultimately, the world. This is so much more than just a story though, because throughout the journey, we learn how to discover and fulfill our own destiny using the clues of the universe that are all around us.

I truly feel this book is going to make a real impact on the world, and set into motion a spiritual domino effect that’ll help change it for the better. And judging from the way the world is heading, I’m thinking that changing the way we’re heading would be a good thing, no? If you don’t agree, or would just prefer not to get any further emails from me, just let me know, and I’ll take you off the list—no hard feelings. Of course, I can’t promise that my book won’t track you down and find you anyway, but you have a while yet to worry about that.

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The Layman posted at 2006-9-20 Category: Diary of a Layman

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